Fic: Better Lock It in Your Pocket (or, Ten Secrets about Nikolai Romanov, as kept by Clint Barton)

Title: Better Lock It in Your Pocket (or, Ten Secrets about Nikolai Romanov, as kept by Clint Barton)
Fandom: Avengers
Genre: Slash, Crack/Humor, Genderblending, Angst, Character Study
Word Count: ~1400
Pairing(s): male!Natasha/Clint
Rating: PG-13
Warnings/Contents: Alludes to past possible abuse, Clint's POV, no fix-it for Phil :(

Written for: this prompt at avengerkink
Notes: This was supposed to be crack, and then it descended into very aggressive angst(?) BTW, I adore male!Natasha but I'm still working on his characterization. I'm afraid that this is not one of those stories that focus on how being male would particularly change Natasha's experience.
Beta: none

Summary: Clint knows the scary, secret truth: Nikolai is a dork. He just has the world’s best poker face about it. After seven years serving as Nikolai’s BFF and occasional bed warmer (in Soviet Russia, you don’t fuck Nikolai Romanov, Nikolai Romanov fucks you), Clint has gathered a heap of intel which he has been threatened under pain of death multiple times never to disclose.
Disclaimer: No ownership was claimed in the making of this nonsense.



( Nikolai Romanov is a cool-eyed, long-legged beauty who’d kill a man as soon as look at him. )

Fic: A Unicorn in the Avengers Tower, But That's Not Even The Important Part of the Story

Title: A Unicorn in the Avengers Tower, But That's Not Even The Important Part of the Story
Fandom: Avengers
Genre: Slash, Crack/Humor
Word Count: ~800
Pairing(s): Steve/Tony, Thor/Poptarts, Thor/Jane Foster, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Rating: PG-13
Warnings/Contents: Jokes about alcoholism, PTSD. May be offensive to those particularly invested in fanon characterization.

Written for: this prompt at avengerkink
Notes: Okay, I was super hesitant to actually publish this story because in retrospect this is really bad fic and possibly more weirdly offensive than funny (and because I wrote this while drunk). Um, please read this with a sense of humor. For the record, i love tropes/cliches and (if you've read my other crack!fics this is really obvious) overuse them in my own writing. So.
Beta: none :(

Summary:
"so, the avengers fandom is pretty well established, right? it's got it's own tropes and fics clichés and everything.

my prompt? how many fandom tropes can you fit into one story?"

... I got 53 in 800 words. Captain Pike dares you to do better. (List of tropes used at end of fic)
IDK THIS IS BAD!FIC PPL

Disclaimer: No ownership was claimed in the making of this nonsense.


( “I think I’m due for my cameo.” Natasha said, looking scarily, sexily emotionless and simply covered in knives. )