I thought this was nicely done. The idea of somebody commenting on a body part and then the recipient being hyper aware of said part is very funny - and true. I totally thought you were going to leave us with a sad ending. (Which would have been fine. Just sad.) I'm glad you didn't. The way you divided up the sections - like mini-summaries - it was a nice progression.
I like your Kakashi - very controlled and thoughtful, gentlemanly, even. A little melancholy, which kind of adds to his appeal.
A minute of confusion - while I love the imagery of the rings rubbing together as they hold hands - are they to be on same hands (left, 4th finger)? I'm trying to imagine the positions of their bodies and it's a little Twister-like in my head. (Which probably tells you more about what goes on in my head than helps you. Sorry.)
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branchandroot
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Date: 2011-09-19 09:37 am (UTC)I like your Kakashi - very controlled and thoughtful, gentlemanly, even. A little melancholy, which kind of adds to his appeal.
A minute of confusion - while I love the imagery of the rings rubbing together as they hold hands - are they to be on same hands (left, 4th finger)? I'm trying to imagine the positions of their bodies and it's a little Twister-like in my head. (Which probably tells you more about what goes on in my head than helps you. Sorry.)
Very sweet. Thank you for writing. :)